Ang Dalawang Pahina ng Buhay

 

     Paggising sa umaga, mag-aalmusal at mag-lalakad patungong paaralan.  Makikipag-kwentuhan  sa mga kaibigang kaklase at sa bakanteng oras nama'y makikisama sa mga larong mayayayang salihan.  Umuuwi lamang para sa pananghalian at magmamadaling tumakbo patungong paaralan upang makapaglaro muli. Sa pang-hapon na klase, ang  kadalasan ay ang pagpapakopya ng mga guro sa mga estudyante ng mga nakasulat sa pisara.  Halos lahat ay nagmamadaling makatapos at maghihintay na lamang sa oras ng uwian upang makapaglaro muli.  Tumbang preso, tubigan, taguan, moro-moro at shato ay ang mga larong kinagigiliwan.  Kasama na rito ang sipa, tamaang bata at sambutan ng bola, depende sa uso o mapagkakasunduang laruin.  Paglalaro, pag-aaral, pagtulog at pakikipag-kwentuhan sa mga kalaro ang mga kadalasang laman ng isip.  Paminsan minsan nama'y nayayayamot at nababalisa kung napapagalitan o nauutusang kumilos para sa mga gawaing bahay.

     Paggising sa umaga, di na makakapag-aalmusal pa kadahilanang pagkakapos ng oras o minsan nama'y walang maghahain, magluluto o mailuluto.  Sumasakay ng jeep upang makapunta sa lugar ng pinagtatrabahuhan.  Nakapagiisip ng malalim sa byahe, mga bagay bagay na naismaisakatuparan.  Sa pinapasukang trabaho, nakikipagpalitan ng kuro-kuro o kaya'y makikinig sa mga kasagutan na ihinain na mga tanong at kaalaman. Sa pananghalian, mas ginugusto pang hindi na umuwi dahil sa kakulangan ng oras. Mabibilis dapat ang mga kilos upang mas maraming matapos na trabaho para sa araw na yaon.  Ngunit sa sobrang dami ng mga gagawin, kadalasa'y hindi na rin kayang tapusin.  Paghahanda, pagpaplano at pagpapatupad ang madalas na isinasaisip.  Kadalasa'y nagdudulot ito ng pagkayamot at pagkabalisa kung ang mga ito'y hindi naisasakatuparan.  Ang mga inaasam na kakainin sa hapag kainan ay hindi madaling isipin, lalo na kung kulang o gipit para sa pambili ng ihahain.  Ito'y mga obligasyong dapat gampanan, pinansyal man ito o emosyonal.  Tinututukan ang mga ito upang mabuhay at tumakbo ang mga susunod na araw.

     Ito ang dalawang pahina ng buhay.   

Personal Anecdote

    Been so productive last Thursday, September 25.  Was able to compute the midterm grades of my students.  I started working at 9am and ended at almost 2pm.  I remembered, I need pa pala to pick up the paper na pinabook-bind ko sa grove kaya i prepared myself.  Excited ako, kasi finally, makikita ko na ang final paper ko in book form.  I brought my samsonite bag, para may mapaglagyan ng book that i will be picking up.  Mabigat at marami kasi ito, 10 copies na tag-300+ pages each, makapalkapal at talagang mabigat.

     I arrived at 3pm but unfortunately, the lady told me that i need to wait for 30 more minutes kasi di pa rin daw tapos.  Ok lang, i waited. sayang din naman, nandun na ako.  I waited for almost an hour then followed it up.  The lady mentioned, 20 more minutes pa daw.  Kinausap ko, told her, make sure its 20 more minutes, if not, then tell me, para hindi sayang ang oras ko.  May tinawagan sya then told me, na di pa rin pala sila sigurado sa 20 minutes.  Ang init ng ulo ko!  Ang daya nila, pinaghintay pa ako, yum pala, di rin pala makukuha.  Sinayang nila oras ko! Ang dami ko pang gagawin, nasira lahat ng plano ko.

     I gave my samsonite bag to the lady, and told her, babalik na lang ako at iwanan ko na lang ang bag.  I told her na sabihin sa kausap nya sa phone kanina na "ang sama nya! bad sya!"

     On my way home, nakasimangot ako.  Ang init ng ulo ko.  Pag-uwi ko sa house, punta agad ako sa kubo, turned my laptop on para malibang at di na magisip, until i fell asleep.

     The following day, I attended my class at 8:30am.  During my vacant period, i checked naman the case study and final exams ng mga graduate school students ko sa manila.  Deadline na kasi the following day kaya i need to finish everything.  Also, i finalized the grades naman ng mga graduate school students sa calamba, para tapos na lahat ng mga requirements and commitment ko sa kanila.  Hindi ko napansin ang oras, its almost 11:30am na pala, when I received a text, reminding me na panelist pala ako ng isang case study at 11am.  NAKALIMUTAN KO!!!  Tiniklop ang laptop, inayos ang mga papel na nakakalat and run sa fourth floor for the final defense.  Nakakahiya, i apologize to the moderator, saying na nakalimutan ko.  The defense ended at almost 1pm na.  I had my lunch but i thought of my friend Nina, dapat sana magkasabay kaming maglunch.  My other friend told me, nakita daw snya sa canteen, may kasama na syang maglunch kaya di ko na sya pinuntahan at sinamahan.

     After having my lunch, i continued my unfinished work.  I started checking ulit, recording, encoding and computing the grades using my laptop.  I need to attend pa pala my class at 3:30pm but i continued working. Mahaba pa ang oras ko.  May isang student na lumapit, magtatanong sana sa akin.  without looking at her, i just said "WAG NYO AKONG ISTORBOHIN, ANG DAMI KONG GINAGAWA, SERYOSO AKO, ANG DAMI KONG GINAGAWA."  without a word, umalis na lang sya. 

      My co-faculty was teasing me, ang sungit ko daw.  I told her, ngayon lang naman, i need lang talaga to finish everything.  babawi na lang ako sa student na yun later.  Dumating ang 3:30pm, i still managed pa rin to attend my class.  After an hour, i continued my unfinished work and finally, natapos ko rin!

      I prepared na my things and went to the graduate school office to turn in the grades and other requirements.  my friend sharon joined me naman sa paguwi.  told her, di ako bababa ng house, but instead pupunta ng grove para ipick-up ang mga pina book bind ko.  sobrang traffic!  it started to rain, kaya lalong naging traffic.  finally, i was able to pick up my paper. ang bigat! ang dami kasi.  i arrived home at 7pm.

     excitedly, i texted angel, saying na na pick up ko na ang papers ko.  magkikita kami kasi ni angel sa pnu the following day at 10am to turn in our final requirement.  we will be getting na rin our diploma, transcript of records and certification.

     before going to bed, i prepared naman the materials needed for my lecture the next day.  after meeting angel sa pnu kasi, i still need naman to attend my first day of class sa intramuros.  everything was prepared, powerpoint, handouts, etc.  maulan na sa mga oras na ito pero di pa masyadong malakas.  im still planning kung paano ko bibitbitin paluwas ang sampung pina book bind ko, my laptop and back pack.  i slept.

     due to heavy rains, i woke up. its 4:35am.  considering this nonstop rain, paano na kaya ang manila? baha na siguro. i texted angel, telling him to cancel na lang our visit to pnu.  he replied back naman agad.  we will just meet na lang next saturday.   i was thinking, paano naman kaya ang klase ko?  bahala na. 1pm pa naman yun, kaya natulog na lang ulit ako.

     at 8am, i woke up, malakas pa rin ang ulan.  i texted the graduate school secretary, saying na di na ako papasok.  baha na (i assumed) sa mga dadaanan ko.  she replied back, saying na mag schedule na lang daw ako ng make-up class.  i texted my students, telling them na i will be meeting na lang my class next saturday.  all of them replied back naman to confirm that they received my text.

     i never realized na ganun na pala nangyari sa Manila.  buti na lang, i decided to stay home.  It was the day when typhoon Ondoy hit Manila and other parts of Luzon.  Sad.  I searched the net and discovered the situation in Manila.  I prayed.

      

Random things about me

1. My grade school friends call me John. Friends from high school, college, former officemates and co teachers call me Jayjay. But my lola used to call me Dandan.

2. When I was five years old (even younger), I used to scrape ice from our freezer with a spoon and have it as my snack. My lola reserved a space from our freezer, so whenever I crave for ice, I just scrape it with a spoon.

3. My lola accidentally had left me alone in a public market in Manila when I was 5 years old. It slipped her mind that she had brought me with her. Glad the police had found me and when my lola went to the police station, I was there eating two scoops of ice cream.

4. During my grade school, I was a member of a boy’s choir. Soprano. Once I entered high school, I can no longer sing those high notes and cannot even hit any notes.

5. I dreamt of an unfamiliar place when I was in high school. In my dream, I was in a rooftop, scanning and appreciating the beauty of the place. Just recently, I saw the very same place in Discovery Channel. It is in Paris.

6. I was almost hit by a bystander with a metal rod while I was walking alone one early morning to attend a morning mass. Glad I was able to scream “NOT ME! NOT ME!” when the person was about to hit me.

7. One of my most unforgettable experiences is when I was a facilitator in our school’s Immersion Program. When the school supplies (I got it on sale from Uniwide) and goodies (small and cheap items from a wet market) that I brought in for the children in the community were distributed, I will never forget the joy and appreciation in their eyes. My throat hurts while watching them. Some of the children even approached me to verbalize their appreciation. Tears started to build up but I tried to prevent it from falling. I wished I should have brought more items with me. The quantity of the items is not enough. With the assistance of my co-teacher, I went to a nearby store and bought two more bagfuls of goodies. The amount of these bagfuls was a little less than the amount of my favorite coffee I usually order in Starbucks. It struck me hard, realizing that the amount of my favorite coffee at Starbucks is equivalent to these bagfuls that would make these children happy. I cried.

8. While writing #7, my throat hurts and was about to weep. Gee, it is really one of my unforgettable experiences.

9. In my lifetime, I only played basketball once. During the entire game, I just stood there, ran a bit and the ball was never passed on to me. My teammates are aware that I never played basketball, but they need to force me to join them to fill up the number of players to avoid of loosing the game by default. Our team won.

10. My ambition when I was a kid is to become a medical doctor. Ears, Eyes, Nose and Throat specialist.

11. In my lifetime, I was never been hospitalized. I never wished.

12. Turtle pie, butter pecan pie, apple pie and blueberry cheesecake are my favorites. I am a milk chocolate fan, not dark chocolate.

13. I easily forgive, but I find it hard to forget.

14. I love puzzles, adventure and mind games. My all time favorite game is Goonies from the old Nintendo Family computer.

15. I learned to play mahjong when I was in Grade 2. I usually play with my siblings, relatives and even my mom and dad.

16. My weakness is to remember names. I envy those people who can easily recall the names of their former officemates, classmates or any people they met years years back. In my case, I don’t. But if you would provide me choices, I can identify the correct answer. Multiple choice, please.

17. I have a very sensitive tongue. I can identify and figure out the taste even the slightest taste on food.

18. You can make me laugh easily. I have always been accused of having a contagious laughter.

19. I prefer to have a cup of coffee with friends instead of bar hopping. I believe that by doing so, I get to know my friends better through conversations with laughter and serious talks.

20. My dream is to have my own farm where everything will be raised and tilled by my own hands, if ever I still can.

21. I love expensive shoes. Classic designs. I am more on durability regardless of the price.

22. The first movie that made me cry is The Champ.

23. When I’m depressed and there’s no one to talk to, I write my thoughts in a piece of paper.

24. I get easily upset (discreetly) when someone commented unacceptable remarks towards a person. Although it does not concern me, but I always thought that how would I feel if it concerns me?

25. I can move my ears. Can you?

Preparing for my typical day at work

     As a faculty of the undergraduate and the graduate school, my day should have been planned at least a week before the said day specially if a new topic will be presented to the students.  Everything should have been prepared in advance from the PowerPoint presentation to the handouts to be provided for the students.  This would give me more time to review and inject additional inputs relevant to the topic during the actual presentation.

     If the topic to be presented had already been lectured in one of my previous classes, planning should have been done the day before, depending on the materials to be prepared and the bulk of topics that need to be presented.  PowerPoint presentations should have been copied and placed in one folder for easier access, handouts will be printed and reproduced that I think would be needed by the students and the topic to be presented will be thoroughly reviewed.

     This is how I plan my typical day at work.

Oh well...

I need to attend my Satuday class in Manila but when i arrived in the place, it was announced that the class will start next Saturday instead of that day.  The secretary was too apologetic for she had missed to inform me.  I should have had enjoyed my Saturday staying home in front of my laptop...

Oh well....

The Scent of Me

I used to write my thoughts in a piece of paper whenever I need to unload an opinion, an opinion that I'm afraid to share. I haven't done writing my thoughts for years, only this day. This time, I am using this technology, a medium where my thoughts will be shared to people visiting this blog, a medium of revealing how I think, what I think and what made me think.

Honestly, I was too afraid to be judged by people around me once they have heard my opinion. But when my high school friend mentioned that: "If it is an opinion, it is an opinion and all opinions are right" it gave me confidence to start sharing whatever opinions I had to my friends, to a small group and eventually to a larger group. I learned to internalize the thought of saying: "It is my opinion, that's what my mind tells me and I wanted it to be shared."

There are times that opinions should be screened first before sharing it. I used to keep these opinions to myself if I have a feeling that it would hurt someone else's feelings. But sometimes, I cant avoid it. It should be shared and revealed even if I know that it would hurt them. Truth hurts and breaks relationships. To avoid the damage and the hurt, opinions were just kept, sealed and unrevealed.

This is the scent of me.